i have so much things to say. so many questions that need answers but i am not going to ask them for i am actually scared what the answers might unveil. don't get any wrong ideas here, these are normal teen break-apart moments. and its not really that serious but its just here and i think i just have to write it out or it will eat inside out.
now something else bothers me. you see when you write it out on a blog, the questions stay. so many years from now, if i look back at my posts and i come across the questions that weren't answered now, i might be filled with regret later. so i have decided not to tell you guys.
am i doing the right thing? i am not sure but i just needed someone to talk to. it would be awkward if it was a face to face conversation so i chose you guys. now you know something is bothering me. but you don't need to ask what's wrong when you meet me in person. better still, please don't ask. because i am quite sure i won't be able to answer you. there would be awkward silence and then the cricket sound. and oh yeah, the questions are for me to ponder on and to think twice before deciding whether i really want to know the answers.
i have nothing to hide, the questions aren't about anyone but me. so let me just disappear now and try finding myself who i am kinda detached to at times.
3 comments:
you're weird. :P
it is okay, this might be one of those life quests that u r the sole challenger, that u will have to face urself, that u will face it sooner or later or u might, as u say, regret later, so no fret. u will identify the questions if u constantly look into yourself n ask, but no fuss, the questions take time to reveal themselves. i think it best if u find them out though. Then, try to get the answers, but it takes time, n do not be afraid to face the truth, because it will be sad to know if u r lying to yourself, which is worse than being dishonest to others. the answers may not be easy to handle, but it may mean that u have come to realise and accept things, and u r willing to address to urself, though not to us, of the reality that u face. feel free to find friends or other people to talk to about it if needed though, sometimes we need a little enlightenment from others to help guide us through our misery. i feel like i am crapping, but what the heck, ara ur mind is undergoing some changes! something good. all the best!
like your first paragraph, know what you mean. at times i feel lost and alone and there's this feeling of "i've got this all wrong". how can one cope and move on? i can't say, i'm still finding answers, like you, most of the time i just pray and hope, and do my best. It's nothing wrong to talk abt it, and if you want to, i'm willing to listen. But if you dun want to, i'm still here, giving you full support.=)
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