the silence was torture. not a word said or one received for a whole hour. sure, i talked with those who talked to me but that does not count as i am not talking, i am just answering, forced to, unwillingly. he just kept doing his work and i did mine.
waiting for a question to end the misery brought no results, only more time wasted. my eyes slide to the side where he sat doing his mathematics and narrating the equations to himself. a friend for so long. fights came and went, but we remained the same, friends. not a day have i not spoken to him in school (alright, maybe just a few). today, the misunderstanding was different, in the sense that neither of us have apologized yet.
i sat there wondering, should i break down my wall of ego and apologize but something held me back. i got back to my mathematics. time passed, and the silence persisted. the thought of returning home with the question How long will it continue? haunted me.
i called him an imbecile, a word that is the total opposite of him. but it was just a joke, meant to be laughed at five minutes later. but laughter never came, joy left without a word, and friendship sailed far away.
the school bell which usually brought relief to my mind, went off startling a few sensors, Just say sorry, but i just kept packing my bag. my bag was packed, and he was placing some books in his. now is a good time, just say sorry. i stood up, hoping that he would just say 'wait', but it never came. my feet took a few steps away from him, when my heart told me to wait. Ego took over, i walked away, leaving him behind.
taking very slow steps ,praying that he would catch up, i reached the canteen. i turned around and saw him walking, but he never acknowledged me so i turned away. at that moment, i realised my wrong, unfortunately when i turned he disappeared. i walked down the corridor alone, with no smile on my face, probably the first time this year.
when i reached the school gates, i saw him walking towards his car. i did want to walk up to him and end the silence but i didn't. i took a few steps forward but then, he kept on walking so, i stopped and turned around. Maybe tomorrow.
P.S.: this kinda like happened except for the last part, a bit different. i had a misunderstanding with my closest friend and i am keeping my fingers crossed that he would forgive me .
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
A World for Herself.....
living in a world that is made for you is bliss, better still, is living in a world created by you. it takes two second to say that, but is it that easy to create a world? the days shereen has wondered about leaving town and starting a new life elsewhere are many. but something was stopping her. something so powerful that it managed to change her mind everytime she packed her bag and decided to leave.
her clothes are all packed and the last of the zippers have been closed. she sits on the bed thinking over the events that have happened in the past few months of her life. she has no one here anymore. it is not like she had some one all the time with her. its just that belonging to Jack for the past two months felt safe and secure to her. she is scared that the minute she leaves, that safety and security will vanish too.
Jack had the most romantic eyes, and the dimple that follows his smile was to die for. the way he held her hands, Shereen knew he would never let go till the end of the earth. tears start to trail off her cheeks, as she searches for the reason he left. was it her fault? did she not love him as much as he loved her? those rough manly hands are here no more to hold her.
where is she to go? what can she do to survive? as she closes her eyes, the scene where he walks out of the door unveils in her mind.
you worthless, piece of junk. you are nothing to me. i can find another girl, and all i need for that is a small smile, and the queue for my next bride-to-be will be enough to trace the diameter of the earth. you get that in your mind. that was the last thing he said.
she knew even before it was over, that their relationship was not going to last forever. the thing about love is that you never know whether it is true love or otherwise until you realize that you would want to spent the rest of your life with them. he left, because he knew it was just lust. what is she still doing in that house?
she opens her eyes, glances around the room and tries remembering all the good times she had in it. the memories are fresh, but she doesn't want them in her chapter of love life. she gets up, grabs her suitcase, and walks out of the room. she does not have a plan but she knows she has to leave. she doesn't want to live in Jack's world anymore. she wants to create a world where jerks like Jack would not exist and in that world she wants to be happy. she closes the door, and leaves, never turning back.
her clothes are all packed and the last of the zippers have been closed. she sits on the bed thinking over the events that have happened in the past few months of her life. she has no one here anymore. it is not like she had some one all the time with her. its just that belonging to Jack for the past two months felt safe and secure to her. she is scared that the minute she leaves, that safety and security will vanish too.
Jack had the most romantic eyes, and the dimple that follows his smile was to die for. the way he held her hands, Shereen knew he would never let go till the end of the earth. tears start to trail off her cheeks, as she searches for the reason he left. was it her fault? did she not love him as much as he loved her? those rough manly hands are here no more to hold her.
where is she to go? what can she do to survive? as she closes her eyes, the scene where he walks out of the door unveils in her mind.
you worthless, piece of junk. you are nothing to me. i can find another girl, and all i need for that is a small smile, and the queue for my next bride-to-be will be enough to trace the diameter of the earth. you get that in your mind. that was the last thing he said.
she knew even before it was over, that their relationship was not going to last forever. the thing about love is that you never know whether it is true love or otherwise until you realize that you would want to spent the rest of your life with them. he left, because he knew it was just lust. what is she still doing in that house?
she opens her eyes, glances around the room and tries remembering all the good times she had in it. the memories are fresh, but she doesn't want them in her chapter of love life. she gets up, grabs her suitcase, and walks out of the room. she does not have a plan but she knows she has to leave. she doesn't want to live in Jack's world anymore. she wants to create a world where jerks like Jack would not exist and in that world she wants to be happy. she closes the door, and leaves, never turning back.
Friday, January 23, 2009
i know, i know.....
first of all sorry for being a lousy blogger. its been what, three weeks? but hey, i got reasons for my actions. and one of them is that i was (and still am) sick. fever (on and off). anyway, enough about my sad story, lets carry on.
today, i am going to blabber (just because i said blabber doesn't mean that you got to smile that way, stop that puppy dog look) about HOW OFTEN DO ADULTS THINK THEY ARE AT THE TOP OF THE GAME? like duh, everyone knows that they do it. they think they know all the minute details of life (when actually THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO OPERATE A COMPUTER) ( and NO i am not mocking or talking about my parents, they are so not like that)
lets say, you are talking with a group of adults, and they are talking about some topic that you really do have a lot of interest (and knowledge) in. they will be exchanging facts (wrongs facts, anyway). and when you try to add to their facts (ummmmhmmm...meaning correct the wrong facts), all they do is hush you away, remember these words, i know, i know la... and then, they continue talking (about the wrong facts) ignoring you. like dude, how many time has that happened to you? i get frustrated over these stuff. i am tired of people thinking i am nothing but a teenager who glues his eyes to the television probably watching ONE TREE HILL (and yes, i do watch...the show is awesome)
i mean give us a break, just because you are (what) 20 years older than us doesn't mean that you know everything? i mean come on, man. listen to us once in a while( obey us like we are kings and queens while we treat you like slaves.......muahahahahaha) we have a lot of interesting stuffs to say ( and correct facts , mind you). maybe we should have a WORLD TEENAGERS-ADULTS AGREEMENT, we can put in 'listening to us' as number one ( sure, we will try our level best to slip in the obeying part somewhere......for now just cross your fingers). hahahahahaha.
i think i got better by just typing this post out, man. i feel much better. until we meet again next time, T.T.F.N.
today, i am going to blabber (just because i said blabber doesn't mean that you got to smile that way, stop that puppy dog look) about HOW OFTEN DO ADULTS THINK THEY ARE AT THE TOP OF THE GAME? like duh, everyone knows that they do it. they think they know all the minute details of life (when actually THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO OPERATE A COMPUTER) ( and NO i am not mocking or talking about my parents, they are so not like that)
lets say, you are talking with a group of adults, and they are talking about some topic that you really do have a lot of interest (and knowledge) in. they will be exchanging facts (wrongs facts, anyway). and when you try to add to their facts (ummmmhmmm...meaning correct the wrong facts), all they do is hush you away, remember these words, i know, i know la... and then, they continue talking (about the wrong facts) ignoring you. like dude, how many time has that happened to you? i get frustrated over these stuff. i am tired of people thinking i am nothing but a teenager who glues his eyes to the television probably watching ONE TREE HILL (and yes, i do watch...the show is awesome)
i mean give us a break, just because you are (what) 20 years older than us doesn't mean that you know everything? i mean come on, man. listen to us once in a while( obey us like we are kings and queens while we treat you like slaves.......muahahahahaha) we have a lot of interesting stuffs to say ( and correct facts , mind you). maybe we should have a WORLD TEENAGERS-ADULTS AGREEMENT, we can put in 'listening to us' as number one ( sure, we will try our level best to slip in the obeying part somewhere......for now just cross your fingers). hahahahahaha.
i think i got better by just typing this post out, man. i feel much better. until we meet again next time, T.T.F.N.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
it's been a week.....
yes, people. it has been a week (a very fast one) since school reopened. things started to get really HOT on the second day of school. the school discipline administration had a surprise Hair Check. you would understand why the word hot was capitalised, if you had a friend caught by the dicipline teacher. haiz, complicated stuff. since my friend, had already talked about the haircut rule and i seem to agree with him a lot, i am not going to blabber about it here. check his blog out, in my bloggers' invasion. he is Mr. pieces of my puzzle (yes, not Miss. Pieces of Me, which is also a very nice blog to read.)
well, first week was kinda hectic. we had our SUKANTARA which was quite exhausting, of course. oh yeah, my teachers. we have a new chemistry teacher, Pn.Wong, and Pn Saras is teaching us Add Maths, biology is now time for Miss Claire (she is very scary but she is very good, too.)
do you want to hear my new year's resolution? yes, its only one.(those expecting something great and usual, pinch yourself. you know Ara is not that predicable. shame on you) that's writing a diary. i know, i can hear all the chehs and apalarlu's. it is lame, i admit. but i have always wanted to write a diary. you know, to keep record of each day, the happenings in that day, the things that made me want to weep, revelations that raised me onto cloud nine. its really the tingling kind of feeling that we get when we read a diary after a few years (seriously, it is GREAT), that i look forward to most.
what school would be if it was not for getting homework? ( a happy place......i guess......i never will know, thanks to the incredible species of teachers.) note: TEACHERS, that is only to make my post fun, i have no intention in hurting your feelings in one way or another. yes, i have tonnes and tonnes of homework waiting for me as i type this post. i think it would be best for me to end this post here. i really should get back to my homework. bye guys, (until we meet again next time.)
well, first week was kinda hectic. we had our SUKANTARA which was quite exhausting, of course. oh yeah, my teachers. we have a new chemistry teacher, Pn.Wong, and Pn Saras is teaching us Add Maths, biology is now time for Miss Claire (she is very scary but she is very good, too.)
do you want to hear my new year's resolution? yes, its only one.(those expecting something great and usual, pinch yourself. you know Ara is not that predicable. shame on you) that's writing a diary. i know, i can hear all the chehs and apalarlu's. it is lame, i admit. but i have always wanted to write a diary. you know, to keep record of each day, the happenings in that day, the things that made me want to weep, revelations that raised me onto cloud nine. its really the tingling kind of feeling that we get when we read a diary after a few years (seriously, it is GREAT), that i look forward to most.
what school would be if it was not for getting homework? ( a happy place......i guess......i never will know, thanks to the incredible species of teachers.) note: TEACHERS, that is only to make my post fun, i have no intention in hurting your feelings in one way or another. yes, i have tonnes and tonnes of homework waiting for me as i type this post. i think it would be best for me to end this post here. i really should get back to my homework. bye guys, (until we meet again next time.)
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
2008 ( i know it's so yesterday....literally)
well, guys, 2008 has been one of those years that i will never forget (that's what they always say, ask me a year from now and i'll tell you that nothing really important happened in that year).
last year (i mean that yesterday's "this year") was really fun. i had tonnes and tonnes of laughther with my friends. seriously, (last year was not serious at all). the things we did. haiz. and i did get in trouble quite a lot, (not for what i did, mostly for what i didn't do........and no, it was not homework). loved today's "last year", because, that was the very first year i was with ALL my friends ( note that form 3 does not count because i was too busy studying my head off).
the achivements that i 'achieved' last year is not important. (yeah....rrrriiiiigggghhhhhtttt). the posts and all are totally boring to be stated here ( and i don't want to sound like a stuck-up-proud-snob). more importantly, in that year i discovered this new hobby, yes, reading. i read about 25 novels last year (yes, some were really really short and there were a lot of novels by Agatha Christie). reading has beeen my ultimate escape and i only noticed it last year,( can you believe it?).
my friends. well, this post would not be complete if it did not have my friends in it. my friends were (and will always be) the best in the world (last year, this year must wait and see). i got to know a lot of knew ones too. anne was one of them but now she is far away in Australia. Thambhi (that's priyadharshan) is also one of them, he was from St Paul (now he is in MY school....naynanaynanaynanay)
to put it in a nutshell (nutshells are very small, you know), my life blossomed last year. loved it. sad to see that that year has come to an end. and the beginning of this (monstrous) 2009. (of course, its SPM). anyways, Happy New Year , y'all.
last year (i mean that yesterday's "this year") was really fun. i had tonnes and tonnes of laughther with my friends. seriously, (last year was not serious at all). the things we did. haiz. and i did get in trouble quite a lot, (not for what i did, mostly for what i didn't do........and no, it was not homework). loved today's "last year", because, that was the very first year i was with ALL my friends ( note that form 3 does not count because i was too busy studying my head off).
the achivements that i 'achieved' last year is not important. (yeah....rrrriiiiigggghhhhhtttt). the posts and all are totally boring to be stated here ( and i don't want to sound like a stuck-up-proud-snob). more importantly, in that year i discovered this new hobby, yes, reading. i read about 25 novels last year (yes, some were really really short and there were a lot of novels by Agatha Christie). reading has beeen my ultimate escape and i only noticed it last year,( can you believe it?).
my friends. well, this post would not be complete if it did not have my friends in it. my friends were (and will always be) the best in the world (last year, this year must wait and see). i got to know a lot of knew ones too. anne was one of them but now she is far away in Australia. Thambhi (that's priyadharshan) is also one of them, he was from St Paul (now he is in MY school....naynanaynanaynanay)
to put it in a nutshell (nutshells are very small, you know), my life blossomed last year. loved it. sad to see that that year has come to an end. and the beginning of this (monstrous) 2009. (of course, its SPM). anyways, Happy New Year , y'all.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY.....
before i continue on about my trip to the historic city.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY.
this post is to wish all my loved ones, a very Merry Christmas. Clement, Carolyn, Lisa, Timothy, Arnan koh, Hannah, Andrew, Jamie, Chee Jong, Anne, Stefan, Praveen, and all those special people who probably don't know me (or they know me but they don't want to). all these people, you all deserve a huge hug for this Christmas, unlucky me couldn't meet up with all of you so here is an online hug.
HAVE THE BEST CHRISTMAS, YOU DESIRE.
P.S. DON'T GET INTO SANTA'S NAUGHTY LIST.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY.
this post is to wish all my loved ones, a very Merry Christmas. Clement, Carolyn, Lisa, Timothy, Arnan koh, Hannah, Andrew, Jamie, Chee Jong, Anne, Stefan, Praveen, and all those special people who probably don't know me (or they know me but they don't want to). all these people, you all deserve a huge hug for this Christmas, unlucky me couldn't meet up with all of you so here is an online hug.
HAVE THE BEST CHRISTMAS, YOU DESIRE.
P.S. DON'T GET INTO SANTA'S NAUGHTY LIST.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Malacca trip......(day one)
the trip to the historic city of Malacca (must say that in a bold deep voice and the next line with a sarcastic tone), yes, ancient history (roll your eyes now, yeah, that's the way). hahahaha. OK. the trip was great. we actually went there to check out my sister's National Service site, but since we were going, we just packed a few extra pairs of clothes and we were off for a jolly good holiday (as if, 'jolly good', haiz......that's what i thought). we went there in the afternoon, reached the Zoo at around 4.30pm (not so sure).
yes, the ZOO, out of all places to see, the ZOO, haiz, i don't know what's wrong with this people, (hahahahahaha). alright, the zoo was quite fun. i met a lot of your friends there, you know. the chimpanzee were the friendly ones while the monkeys were just sneaky, (that was just a joke....do not sue me for calling my readers and friends 'friends' of animals.). there were a lot species of animals there, since it is quite boring to talk about 'your friends' (haiz, one more thing do not consider me as one of your 'friends' i am just a normal friend without the ' ' ).
next destination, straight to our rented apartment (Melaka Resorts or something like that). now you do not go about telling that i am rich and all, we were forced to take the apartment because all the hotels had no available rooms and the apartment was our last choice (comparing that to the one where we sleep out on the roadsides, we chose the apartment). beside the management gave us a discount because one of my father's friend has an office opposite his building (its complicated, i know). we took our bath and went out to eat. after dinner we slept. (ohhhhh, interesting isn't it.....not)
yes, the ZOO, out of all places to see, the ZOO, haiz, i don't know what's wrong with this people, (hahahahahaha). alright, the zoo was quite fun. i met a lot of your friends there, you know. the chimpanzee were the friendly ones while the monkeys were just sneaky, (that was just a joke....do not sue me for calling my readers and friends 'friends' of animals.). there were a lot species of animals there, since it is quite boring to talk about 'your friends' (haiz, one more thing do not consider me as one of your 'friends' i am just a normal friend without the ' ' ).
next destination, straight to our rented apartment (Melaka Resorts or something like that). now you do not go about telling that i am rich and all, we were forced to take the apartment because all the hotels had no available rooms and the apartment was our last choice (comparing that to the one where we sleep out on the roadsides, we chose the apartment). beside the management gave us a discount because one of my father's friend has an office opposite his building (its complicated, i know). we took our bath and went out to eat. after dinner we slept. (ohhhhh, interesting isn't it.....not)
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