more than words....

yesterday at about 11.00 am my dog, naxy was put to sleep. it has had disease since last year. it had bleeding ever since but still alive and active though. you have seen it right. it had brown coat of fur and streaks of white here and there. it was my companion for about 8 year you know. it was a very very smart dog. it may not have been obedient but it was the best thing that had happened to me. there would be a huge smile on it's face, it could tell it was so happy.

yesterday, the vet came to my house just to check how bad was the disease. he confirmed that the disease had worsened and there was no way to treat it for even though he tried it would only hurt him. he said that naxy had suffered real bad throughout this infection. the only way to relieve him from the pain and torture was to put to sleep. that moment i broke down and cried. i cried like the most idiotic person on earth. if anyone saw me they would have confirmed there was a death in my family. but it was like that. naxy was my brother. a member of the family ever since i was a toddler. he played with me. he licked me , chased me around the house. he also caused havoc wherever he went but that was what made him special. if not for all those things, he would not have been my dog.

i am like a death man right now. it is as though a part of me had been chipped away heartlessly. the pain is just unbearable. the doctor also called someone to help us dig a grave in a free place. he brought my lifeless best friend there and we followed him. me and my mother with my brother. it was painful to let go of him.

seriously i could not have had a better dog than naxy.he might have been unruly disobedient and just playful but he was my friend, companion, brother and everything i could ever wish for. i had said goodbye to him with a hug. he was just so good a friend. well that's all i got to tell for the pain i am feeling right now and the love i have for him are things that aren't explainable in words.

readmalaysia....

well, the readmalaysia book fair was held in mines resort city in the exhibition hall. it was huge but they only had a small section for English books. most of the books were of Chinese language and malay language. the MPH booth was really awesome. the prices were not to say that attractive but they were alright.

i reached there around 1.30 on Sunday. it was the last day of the fair. i was hoping for last minute discounts but was disappointed. the books were stacked up high in all the booths. i had my eyes on Jodi picoult's Plain Truth. i really wanted that book. i was glancing around the booths before deciding to go back to the MPH one to get the book. it was RM 10 cheaper meaning it was at RM 24.40. my sister bought robin sharma's The Saint, The Surfer, and The CEO and chicken soup for the girl's soul.

the trip was great actually. later, we went to midvalley megamall for the global Indian shopping festival. my mom wanted to just 'experience' the atmosphere there. we were there for about three hours. and guess what we didn't have lunch. yes, we were so caught up with books and the shopping festival that we forgot to eat.

anyways, everything went according to plan. now it's time for me to maybe take a break from all the travelling . yeah right!! i still have moral folio to do with my revision. it's going to be a heck of a day to do.

weeee...mid year exam is over...

yup, mid year exam is over. i am happy for that but i am also scared that there are only 3 more months for trials. need not say about SPM. currently i am indulging myself with novels and taking a break from the havoc of studies.

today we celebrated teacher's day at school. it was fun and all. i gave my well-worthy teachers apples and chocolates. well, i walked around the whole school with my buddy and spent almost the whole day doing nothing but talking to friends, making nonsensical jokes, wishing teachers and reading Agatha Christie.

yesterday, one of my closest friends was scolded by an angry teacher. and (its not a surprise is it?) he was not the one to be blamed for. (some of the teachers are like that...*wink* starts with a 'c'...*wink*) technically, she was the one who didn't (still doesn't) know the difference between a secretary's work and a president's.

for that friend of mine,
dude, just forget about what she said, you know you are doing the right thing, just carry on doing it and she will realise her wrong. don't give in or fall into the abyss of ignorance set up by her.heheheheh( wow, dramatic much)

alright then, i will keep updating. but tata for now.......

guilty or not guilty...

actions can only be judged by those performing it. the ones to comment on other's actions simply do not know the real reason behind them. but some actions do not need reasons at all. so does it make it right to judge those actions? better still what if that was a murder.....

i looked around the enclosed dark room. there was not a ray of light anywhere. much like my life that has plunged into the abyss of darkness. the rays of hope had vanished, leaving me alone in my dirty disgusting world. the fan above me creaked while the blades swished around.

my thoughts were very disorganized. there was a cloud of confusions over my head. a drop of sweat dropped from the tip of my nose and fell on her leg. i couldn't see but i could tell, her legs were right below me. she laid motionless and liveless. her white sleeveless t-shirt drenched in blood and sweat. again, i can only imagine that. my feet felt a thick liquid oozing out from her lower abdomen, right where i had stabbed her.

why did i stab her? that's a question i have no answer for. the reason was nothing. i stabbed her for no reason at all. she had come in awhile ago. wearing a white t-shirt and a skimpy old blue jeans. although, her lips only asked for directions to the apartment above mine, there was lust in her eyes. i could sense that she was not here for mere directions.

her fingers had played with her curls. first sign of flirtation. i noticed there was a glimmering diamond wedding ring on one of her fingers. a smile had slowly been introduced to my face. i looked at her, straight into those sensuous red eyes. i could feel that she was here to play with me. she wanted me. i knew it.

i had slowly moved towards the door. the click of the lock only brought a glow of joy on her face. she wants to play with me. then i shall play with her. i had taken her into my arm and led the way to the sofa. she smiled not knowing what awaited her. when she was comfortable, i grabbed the vase on the table beside the sofa. broke the end of the vase and stabbed her. she screamed but no one could hear her, for i had my hands over her mouth before that. i stabbed her not once or twice but thrice. definitely, she felt the pain piercing through every single cell in her body..

now sitting here, i keep thinking. am i guilty or not guilty? there are a lot of points to argue this question. but the real answer is for me to know and for you to let your imagination go wild. i stood up and walked over to the door. a short glance over the body brought a smile on my face. i closed the door shut, locked it and walked away.

....Exams....

yeah, i know it's a boring topic to blog on. let me just get to the point. I HATE EXAMS. yes, exams are my worst enemies. i will read like a mad fool day and night, hoping to score an A for that subject. there will be bags under my eyelids and definitely, my circulatory system would be drenched in caffeine. they are my secret weapon to keep late nights. and the results? would it be worth it?

yea, yea , yea. i can hear the 'sighs' and 'yawns'. tell you something. personally i think exams only put on immense amount of pressure and stress onto the students. but one thing is for sure, its not the exams which are to be blamed for this. the perception of teachers, the society and parents is such that once you get a B you are a B grade student. nothing more nothing less. but since i do not have any say in this, and every individual has the right to think in his or her own way, i will stop blabbering about the perception.

i see my friends (some of them) are well prepared and that is the way to be. exams are to test on how much we have learned. if the system is right (remember i said 'if'), then all of us should be prepared. we wouldn't be going through this stress, simply because we have done our part. yea but because we are usually too busy with other things during normal weeks, we only study when exams come.

sure, i would love to put the blame on the system but still, the onus is on me to study. if i carried it out well, i wouldn't be studying and memorising like a schizophrenic now. anyways guys, biology was alright i still have two more weeks of exams ahead of me, so don't expect frequent posts. Now, i have to go study for the rest of the subjects. bye guys.

the mighty mindz.......

yeap baby, we won....the state challenge. we are the mighty mindz. the humble mewahans. the things we did to get to this point. i can't describe the satisfaction on our faces when we got the winning results. it was so great. seriously, our main goal was not to win though. it was to do our best and have fun while doing it and we accomplished it.

we arrived at seremban parade at about 10.45. by that time the lower secondary were doing the first task already, which was the answer-question challenge. we registered and went for a short walk. it wasn't a walk actually. just moving here and there, saying 'hi' and waving 'hello'. if you were there, you could literally see the nervousness on our faces. me, clement and shakilan. OMG. there were rude people there, too, walking past and smiling cynically.

then it was our turn for the first task, the upper secondary. we went in with clueless minds, not really mighty. we were sort of not prepared because there were so many things going on. debates and Prefect Gala. we did do last minute ,desperate, preparation. we stayed back for two days while other schools stayed back for two months. we were definitely freaked out. the thought of losing again (as you guys know we lost in debates finals) haunted all of us. it would be humiliating to go down again. it would be easier to plunge into the abyss of darkness (exaggerating much? yeah)

from the first 7 questions we were 3rd, the first 14 questions, we were 9th...at the end of the first challenge, we were 8th. but it does not matter, since the top 30 teams qualify to the second challenge, that is the hands-on challenge.

now...... the hands on challenge was well......., REALLY, and i mean REALLY, challenging. we were required to built a water powered windmill within an hour and half. and guess what we were given, 3 bottles, 5 plastic tea-spoons, plasticine, a screw, a pin, UHU glue, a polystyrene "wheel", colour paper, a 100plus can, chopsticks, and a blade. (other stuffs, i just can't remember, sorry.) well we started off great. we got to planning and we immediately got to work.

when doing the project a lot of things went wrong. remember the polystyrene wheel? yeah, about that. we kinda decided to poke the sharp end of the spoons (which we cut) so that the water can hit the spoon and turn the polystyrene wheel which in turn would turn the chopstick that will turn the windmill (the 100 plus can cut). but we were 'smart' enough to put UHU glue into the point where we poked the wheel. yes, it turn soggy and soaked.

we looked at each other, panicked. plan B , we used the bottle cap and the plasticine and managed to get it done. then , we had fun doing all the other things. let me just jump to the funny part. we completed our model and we tested it. the moment of truth. the water poured and the windmill did..........(big surprise)....... not work. again panic took over. the water poured on top of the wheel but the wheel didn't turn. disappointment in the crowd. yes there was a huge crowd at our place since we were very hyper and LOUD. then, one of our team member got a brilliant idea. he tilted the water source to hit the spoon directly. it worked. we were overjoyed and yes, we did jump around like monkeys.

and the rest is history. the judges did their evaluation and we got into the shortlist and finally we won. seriously it was the most fun activity i have ever done. mostly because i did it with my friends. a big salute to those guys. they endured my terrible singing during that tensed hour. thanks, shaki and thanks clement. you guys are the best. MEWAHANS RoCk.

the war of words....

words. they were our weapon of defense and attack during this war. Against an elite school, we the humble mewahans went. the battle ground set in favour of the enemy. where they knew the tricks and shortcuts; strategies to make us look like fools. but we were not scared for we were to speak the truth and nothing but the whole truth.

arguments began. we stated the truth, we were humble but feisty. we were civilised. the evil dirty tricks from the enemy tried to trip us but failed. the cunning laughs and exaggerated hand gestures made them appear more like politicians. they had nothing though. words with not even a strand of relevance were thrown . the crowd went crazy over it. they were cheering for the enemy for it was their homeland.

we did not give up. we knew that they were only armed with eloquence. besides what could we expect from someone who ties his shoelace on a chair during the war. the sword of accent was there but was not used in the right manner. they tried twisting and turning but sadly , they were the ones who got twisted. they went against their own soldiers, they laughed, smiled but they were not aware that the war was not over yet.

we brought out secret weapons and that confused the intellectually-challenged enemy. they ran from the war, in fear that we might beat them. they were like donkeys running off, with their fear-stricken eyes. they were not man enough to accept the truth. they lied and tried misleading us. but we were not misled. however, the others who watched were.

the arguments ended. the war of words was done with. now for the evaluation. an elite school against the humble mewahans. they were like giants. they appeared big, but if looked closer you would realise that they had peas for brains. the evaluation went on. the aspects we were judged on, which side was bigger, who looked better, who was fairer. they were too scared to go against the giants as they might crush them.

they gave the win to the enemy but we knew who were the real winners. we walked out of there with dignity. unfair, sure, injustice, definitely, but what can we do? we are just the humble mewahans.